Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson wasn’t wrong in the above quote.  Society constantly sends out the message that being yourself just isn’t good enough.   It teaches us to continually compare ourselves with one another.  Even to compete.  Turn the pages of any secular magazine, browse the internet, walk along any high street, and there’s probably something there that will tell you how to fight the signs of ageing, how to stay slim and sexy, how to achieve someone else’s ‘look’, or more crudely a list which tells you who is hot and who is not.  Hey, quite a few corporations make big money through making you believe that the God-ordained, natural “you” just isn’t good enough to get along in this world!

Child of the Most High God, you are a wonderful work of the Creator of all things.  The One who brought the universe and all of creation into being also made you, and He made you fearfully and wonderfully.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).  You were not destined to constantly demean yourself (or to allow anyone else to demean you).  Nope. It wasn’t part of His great, good and wonderful plan for you to live in a perpetual cycle of self-hatred, insecurity or comparison to others.  It wasn’t His intention for you to be judged and treated in a certain way on account of your outer self.  The Almighty uniquely and wonderfully knit you together in your mother’s womb! He crafted all of your features because that’s how He wanted you to be.  He doesn’t want you any other way.  He made you and saw that you were good...A marvellous work…One that glorifies His unfathomable handiwork.

Don’t feel alone, because the Lord your God has been with you since the beginning and He is still with you.  Don’t feel unaccepted, because He takes great delight in you.  Be comforted because He will calm all your storms and quiet the voice of insecurity with His love.  Be strengthened because your Father in Heaven rejoices over you with singing.  (“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17). 

Precious handiwork of the eternal Creator, apple of the Lord’s eye, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Don’t let anyone or anything convince you otherwise.

(I’ve posted this video before, but I don’t think we can tire of hearing the truth).

There is great power in knowing the truth.  Whenever a negative thought or emotion enters your head, counteract it with Biblical truths so you don’t allow them to spiral out of control and trigger past habits.

When you feel rejected or unaccepted by your peers, focus your mind on the fact that: “In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him” (I John 4:9).  His love is the only unshakeable, pure, perfect, sacrificial, eternal, immeasurable love that we can receive.   Meditate on His love and how to please Him rather than seeking the changeable love and respect of others.

When you fear what other people will think or say about you know that the Creator does not want you to be conformed to, or controlled by, the pattern or worries of the world.  His greatest desire is that you should put Him first in your life, fellowship with Him, trust Him and love others as He has loved you.  “What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

When you feel insecure and worthless, reflect: “for You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth” (Psalm 139:13-15).  The Master of the universe, the heavens and the earth created you.  How precious and wonderful you are!

When you think you’ve got no strength left and can’t fight your eating disorder any more, realise the power of: “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” (1 Thessalonians 4:4).   The power of God is greater than the issue you’re struggling with and greater than the evil that is in the world. You can overcome through faith and with the help of the Almighty.

Don’t allow any negative thought or emotions to control your life.  Take charge of them and fight them with God’s word.   Fix your heart and mind on the Word of God and seek His presence.   Avoid films, books, magazines, music, tv programmes or places that trigger such negative thoughts.  Turn to activities and resources that edify and encourage you, such as http://www.365promises.com/

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

‘Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick’ (Matthew 9:12).

“Jesus comes for sinners, for those as outcast as tax collectors and for those caught up in squalid choices and failed dreams. He comes for corporate executives, street people, superstars, farmers, hookers, addicts, IRS agents, AIDS victims, and even used-car salesmen” Brennan Manning.

Perhaps you’re thinking you’re too messed up to be accepted or loved by God.  That you’ve made too many wrong choices and there’s no way back.  But it doesn’t matter where you’ve come from or what you’ve done, Jesus wants to be your Savior and to be your guide till the end of time.  He’s waiting for everyone from whatever circumstances.  All He requires is belief in Him and a repentant heart.

Throughout the Gospel we see Jesus mixing with those in society that people didn’t expect Him to mingle with.  When the self-righteous Pharisees questioned why he was dining with the tax collectors and prostitutes, he responded:   “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12-13). 

Jesus comes for those who need a saviour: for the broken, the shamed, the rejected, the humiliated, the outcasts.  Jesus told the Pharisees: “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you” (Matthew 21:31).  Why? Because the tax collectors and prostitutes believed in Him, and offered their broken lives to Him.  Unlike the vain, superficial piousness of the Pharisees, the tax collectors and prostitutes had faith and a genuine heart for Jesus.

Check out what Brennan Manning say in The Ragamuffin Gospel:

“Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing in front of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hands (see Revelation 7:9), I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Kat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two-year-old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the businessman besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate transactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged his people from the pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexually abused teen molested by his father and now selling his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last “trick,” whispers the name of the unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust, and raped the earth.

“But how?” we ask.

Then the voice says, “They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.”

There they are. There we are—the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life’s tribulations, but through it all clung to the faith”.

The Gospel if for you, no matter what “squalid choices” you have made.  Jesus came to save, not to condemn. He came to give life, not to destroy.  He came to take our sin and shame and nail it to Calvary’s tree. He came to shine a light into the darkness and to be a sinner’s Saviour.

http://www.esquire.com/features/best-and-brightest-2009/shane-claiborne-1209 A fantastic article for non-believers (though I recommend believers read it too).

http://www.multnomahemails.com/wbmlt/pdf/RagamuffinGospel-BrennanManning.pdf The first chapter of The Ragamuffin Gospel.

“But the Counsellor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things” (John 14:26).

The anorexia that nearly took my life began, and got worse and seemingly uncontrollable, through the lies and confusion that plagued my mind.   Even at my lowest weight, I was convinced that I needed to carry on the obsessive behaviours that were killing me.  It wasn’t until I realised that it was the devil’s plan to destroy my life and relationships through those lies that I was able to recover through the power of God’s truth and love,

John 8:44 says that “the devil…was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies”.  Whatever is good, the devil wants to destroy it. Using lies he will try to convince you that God can’t help you, even that God is not real.  Perhaps he will tell you that you are unlovable or that you will never recover, trying to push you to exercise just that little bit harder and eat a little bit less until you are no more than skin and bones.

But regardless of what the voice in your head is telling you, what the world tells you, what the media says, or what those closest to you are saying, the truth is that God is real.  His love is everlasting and immeasurable, and He is able to heal you and give you a life of freedom from the bondage of eating disorders.  His Holy Spirit is ready, willing and waiting to strengthen you and teach you all about God’s plan and love for you.  You are safe in His hands, “for God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” (I Corinthians 14:33).

God will never lie to you or belittle you, for He is not a God of wickedness but one of love. He doesn’t want your every waking moment to be filled with self-destructive thoughts, but with joy and peace.  His deepest desire is communion with you because you are His beloved, because you are worth so much to Him.  Don’t believe all the lies that bring destruction, hate, or self-loathing into your life.  Trust in God, for He offers something much better: an abundant, peace-filled life, filled with hope and the promise of everlasting life.

 For those that want closer intimacy with God, I recommend the book, ‘The Secret Place’, by Dr. Dale Fife.

I also recommend a listen of this song by Kirk Franklin, Imagine Me

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17).

Even for those who are not followers of Christ, there is no getting away from Jesus:

“As the centuries pass, the evidence is accumulating that, measured by his effect on history, Jesus is the most influential life ever lived on this planet” (Kenneth Scott Latourette – a historian).

Such is Jesus’ power and presence that even some avid atheists admit they are immensely drawn to, and fascinated by, the person of Jesus.  For a short while, I was confused about who Jesus was (and is), even to the point of rejecting the Christian faith altogether.  But I couldn’t live without Jesus.  I had to have Him in my life.  And He wouldn’t let me go either.  Believer or unbeliever, you just can’t avoid or be unmoved by Jesus.

H. G. Wells declared Jesus to be “the very centre of history”.  This is quite some recognition from an unbeliever.  But Jesus is much more than the centre of human history.  He is “the Alpha and the Omega (A to Z), the Beginning and the End…who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty” (Revelation 1:8).  He is in CONTROL of all history.  He was there in the beginning with God, before anything else existed, and through Him all things were made (John 1:3).

God, in His great and unfathomable compassion and love, sent the lamb of Jesus into the world as a sacrifice to take our sins on His shoulders and nail them to the cross.  As the ultimate act of love, He sent Jesus not to condemn us, but so that we may be saved and have everlasting life if we believe in Him (John 3:16-17).  He is the Light of the World, He is the Truth and He is the Life (John 14:6).

Eating disorders consume, torment and plunge the sufferer into darkness and despair.  But Jesus has the power to save and shine His light into the darkness.  Through His power, the plan of the evil one to destroy your life will be defeated.  Whoever follows Jesus “will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12).  Jesus has the authority to defeat the darkness and lead you to an abundant life filled with peace and joy.  His light will lead you to the divine truth and will of God for your life.  Also, for those that receive and believe in Jesus’ name, they have the right to be children of God (John 1:12).  Children of a faithful, merciful, loving, gracious God who is ever-present and ever-mindful of us, who will not allow you to stumble and who is a refuge for the oppressed.

At this time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus and the coming of His light to the world, focus on Him who is more than able to defeat the darkness.  And hold onto Him.  He won’t let you go.  He loves you more than you can imagine.

I highly recommend the book ‘Living Jesus’ by John Pritchard for both those who don’t yet know Jesus and for believers.  Also, the DVD, ‘Indescribable’ by Louie Giglio, which you can watch on YouTube, is awe-inspiring.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me” (Psalm 139:1).

 The truth is that God is crazily in love with you. This is not the kind of love that we understand or relate to.  The love we feel for our fellow human beings is often conditional and it can become jaded through life’s circumstances and events.  God’s love is something else.  He doesn’t get tired of searching us out and loving us, no matter what.  He understands the walls we build around ourselves, and loves us enough to stick around and help us take the bricks away one at a time, if we let Him.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord” (Psalm 139:1-4).

God knows everything about you.  Every evil thought or action, every good deed done in secret…God’s Spirit is there. Through the joy, and even in the toughest and bleakest times of our lives, His presence is with us: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there” (Psalm 139:7-8).

Because of God’s vast love, He will go to any lengths to bring a lost, broken or weary sheep back into His arms.  From the depths of despair, He will seek you out with His presence:

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine persons who do not need to repent” (Luke 15:3-7).

God knows what you are going through and is concerned with you and your recovery.  When you are tired and don’t think you have the strength to take any more, He will put you on His shoulders and carry you through it.  He wants you to feel His love and presence and know the truth about who you are in Him.  He wants you to know that you are not an accident, but you were planned and intricately created: “for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:13-14).  He wants you to know that you are precious. “You’re not good enough…You’ll never become anything…you’re stupid…nobody will ever love you” are just some of the lies that we may be told.  But the truth is that God has a wonderful plan for your life and His thoughts towards you outnumber the grains of sand (Psalm 139:16-18).

God knows you.  God loves you.  He is with you at every step.  His Spirit is always there to comfort you.  He is there to carry you.  His love for you won’t become tired.

“The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no-one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:28-31). 

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

From a very early age we are duped by the world’s ideal of beauty and perfection, and pressured to conform to such.  From the princesses in storybooks and films, to beauty pageants for children, gyrating pop stars, the modelling, fashion and film industry, and the World’s top 100 beautiful women/hottest men lists, we are bombarded by the message that we must fit a certain standard or behave in a certain way in order to be loved, recognised, respected or successful.  Unfortunately, this message has seeped into many places where we are supposed to feel the safest and most loved: our homes, our circles of friends, at times even our Churches (though it’s sad to say).

Thank God for the liberation from these lies that we can attain through Him and His word!  Romans 12:2 directs us to not abide by the standards of the world, but to be wholly changed and renewed through a transformation in our attitudes and ideals.  True, it’s not easy to stand against the lies of the world when we are confronted with them every day simply by walking down the street or opening a newspaper, and come into view of numerous images of size zero or nearly-naked (and at times naked) air-brushed models.  But followers of Christ ARE freed from, and not expected to follow, these worldly standards.  Instead, we are to offer our “bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God”.

God is not a man that he should indulge in satisfying fleshly lusts.  His ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9).  His concern is not with size 0 or with the outward appearance, but the Spirit and attitude that we cultivate within us.  All those things that the world celebrates, enjoys and promotes – immorality, impurity, debauchery, hatred, conflict, jealousy, drunkenness, selfishness, and orgies – is what God wants His children to lay aside.  What is truly beautiful in His sight is love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Worthy, lasting and true beauty in God’s sight is a gentle spirit and a servant obedient to His Word (1 Peter 3:4).  How liberating in a world that is obsessed with the beauty of the outer self, which will inevitably fade with time and age, no matter how much money one has for plastic surgery.

What’s more, the lies that the media and the world feeds us with are only temporary and will fade away, but the word and truth of God endures forever (Isaiah 40:8).  So stand firm in the word and truth of the Lord and don’t worry about whether your breasts are big enough, stomach flat enough, or whether your torso ripples or not.  Fix your eyes on the One who loves you, formed you and preserves your life (Psalm 121).  Seek to please and bring joy to your creator, the greatest lover of your soul.

If there’s anything that feeds your eating disorder or makes you feel worthless or ugly (celebrity gossip/diet magazines, TV programmes, certain websites) avoid them/throw them away/switch them off.   

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills – from whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore” (Psalm 121).

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

Very often, eating disorders are triggered by a person’s need to control something in a world where little else is in their control.  Stressful circumstances and perhaps hurtful comments can cause emotional pain that leave the person feeling powerless or worthless.  As a result, to regain control – and in some cases to feel a sense of accomplishment – the person begins to manage their food intake and weight to dangerous levels.

Perhaps if I was thinner, my parents would be prouder of me…

If I lost weight, then I wouldn’t be bullied anymore and I would fit in with everyone else…

If I could only drop a few dress sizes, maybe he will notice me…

When I look a certain way, then I know I will finally be happy…

It’s not unusual to think that if we look a particular way or size, or achieve certain things in life, then we will be happy or make other people love us and accept us more.  But in truth, even after gaining what we set out to get, these temporary pleasures do not bring contentment or meaning to our lives.  Not in the long-term.

^“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure…Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11).

If there was any earthly pleasure the author of Ecclesiastes wanted, he tasted or acquired it.   Yet still, those lust and worldly pleasures were “meaningless, a chasing after the wind”.  That is because true joy cannot be found in what the world tells us will make us happy.  Joy cannot be sustained by looking a certain way or by ‘fitting in’ with the rest of the world.   Not even earthly relationships will make us happy because disappointment and unfilled expectations taint even the most wonderful and peaceful of relationships.  Neither do those that care for us always understand our worries and troubles (through no fault of their own), or be physically and emotionally there for us every time we need them.

The thrill of fleshly lusts soon passes, but God is steadfast and faithful.  His word and promises stand forever (Isaiah 40:8).  His love is not conditional but everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3), and his lovingkindness better than life (Psalm 63:3)!  He doesn’t judge you on your outward appearance, but looks at what’s in your heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

Each day brings its own troubles, concerns and worries.  But allow God to be the one to take control.  God will provide all your needs through the saviour Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:19), whether it be material necessities or love, joy, peace…the Lord will provide it.  All you need to do is “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).  Shut out the lies of the world and focus on the truths from the word of God.  Only in His presence and through His truths can true joy and pleasure be found (Psalm 16:11).

“God created man in His own image” (Genesis 1:27). 

With the images and messages delivered daily before our eyes and ears by newspapers, magazines, television programmes, films, music, advertisements and so on, it is little wonder that many people suffer with low self-esteem.  The media projects an unrealistic ideal for both men and women to aim for in terms of their physical attractiveness.  Plastic surgery, cosmetics, body-building formulas, fake tan, hair extensions and diet plans are celebrated as the answer to our insecurities and the solution to looking like the latest glossy or handsome celebrity.  Our culture teaches us to ridicule and be disgusted with so-called physical imperfections and use whatever means we can to fix them.  With our modern computer technology we can even edit images of ourselves into the mould we desire.

But the Word of God speaks a different message to that of the world, and for those who believe in it the struggle for self-acceptance is a battle that can be won.  It is the devil’s lie that you are worthless, inferior, ugly, abnormal, or whatever falsehood he throws at you.  When we study and meditate on God’s Word then the truth of how He intricately created us and loves us will set us free from the bondage of low self-esteem.

God created us in His own image (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 5:1-2) therefore we should not condemn, criticise or have disbelief in the magnificent beauty that He created in us.  God in His glory, splendour and power did not create a mistake.  Every one of us is a MASTERPIECE of the most High God: “you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-14).  The shape of your body was crafted by the Lord, and the colour of your skin and each mark was designed for His pleasure; it is pleasing in His sight (Genesis 1:31).  And what’s more, God himself breathed the very life into you through His Holy Spirit (Genesis 2:7, Job 33:4).  It is God who made you, and I, and we belong to Him (Psalm 100:3).  Appreciate the wonder He made in you and keep sacred the body that He made for you (1 Corinthians 6:20).

Perhaps others have used words that have discouraged you or made you feel unloved.  It may be that you have been mocked because you don’t fit into the world’s vision of beauty.  Whatever anguish you are experiencing or baggage you are carrying, know that you are precious in God’s sight and His thoughts towards you are innumerable (Psalm 139:17-18).  Whenever you are tempted to feel downcast and worthless, quote the scriptures about how fearfully and wonderfully you are made.  Even if you have to repeat it ten, fifty, one hundred, or even more times a day, do not stop proclaiming the truth.

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are precious.You are fearfully and wonderfully made!