Dear Pop Culture

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Jul - 1 - 2012 - Filed under: Uncategorized -

Check out this Spoken Word to the pop culture – an open letter to Lady Gaga and Pop sensations. It’s powerful!  The lyrics are below the video.

 

Dear Pop Culture; Dear Pop Sensation,

I’m writing to you because your lies are so pervasive in this American generation. Because listening to your lies was once my brain’s fixation. But for years now, I have had the realization, that your lyrics are an utter fabrication. That you sing with the serpent’s tongue over this nation, like lullabies in a dream-world destination – contorting and distorting people’s imagination.

 

And with your controlling manipulation, we take in the sound waves that come to our radio stations. When you call us a superstar, we call it inspiration. When you sing tolerance, we feel liberation. When you dance and flaunt your body in a provocative presentation, we accept it as entertainment without hesitation.  You take the human body in all it’s beauty and creation, and present it like scum with unreserved humiliation – to a world obsessed with over-sexualization.

 

You say free-fall into temptation and act as if there’s no harm in the sex-game fixation. You say get drunk in a party and stir up the flirtation, enjoy the lit-up party scene saturation.  Be who you are and express your orientation. The world is about you and your instinct gratification. You sing I’m on the edge of glory with your own glorification? You fire up the feeling of victimization so that rebellion and revenge feel like the only justification, and you so conveniently offer every emotional accommodation.

 

While we sit back and allow your perverted narration over our lives, and let you control our destination, your lyrics are like cancer, in need of radiation.  I have watched as the youth cry out and worship you in adoration, with a crazy, obsessive, unhealthy fascination. They look to you for confirmation and validation. Because in reality, they’re yearning for a serious revelation from the depths of despair, depression and frustration. But they are jumping and taking rest on a sandy foundation, because what you have to offer, is nothing with any legitimate explanation about how the world works, or true love clarification. What they need is an internal evaluation.

 

Because truly they search for a God who offers a heart-transformation. And while  you can do nothing about their messed-up situation, my redeemer, named Jesus, offers redemption.  So listen to me, this is a hurt-people-hurt people duplication.  And you are only feeding them your puked-up desperation twisted into lyrics  and rhymes in a Hollywood location.

Here is my battle cry in declaration. With God on my side, I will stand against the desensitization. I’ll stand in the gap and let irritation be my motivation. And though from your standing looks good from your calculations, my God uses different equations. He says, we’re all lost and in need of salvation. He’s the author of true love and there’s no other replication.

 

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come” ~ Proverbs 31:25.

 

Related posts:

Women of a different status.

What’s the big deal with low self-esteem?

Comfort through Creation

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Jun - 21 - 2012 - Filed under: Addiction,Christian eating disorder recovery,God's love -

I’ve found that the moments of greatest peace and closeness to God have been in separating myself from the world and meditating on God’s creation.  Moments like those when sitting on a rock at the top of a cold and breezy hill; gazing down at the countryside; walking slowly through the glorious rain; looking up at the stars whilst camping in Sudan; watching the sea waves roll on a wild and untamed beach.  When appreciating God’s creation, I see and experience the majesty of God.  I feel His presence and love.

In times of hardship, recovery, anguish, and absolutely in the good times too, sometimes what’s needed is an hour or two alone, hearing God speak through the work of His hands.

“The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2).

Here is an amazing sermon by Louie Giglio on our indescribable God and His magnificient Creation.  It’s worth taking your time to watch.

“What if the primary purpose of the universe is not to be a home for you and me…but to show off the splendour and the majesty and the greatness and the glory of the God who created it all“.

 

 

Women of a different status

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Jun - 10 - 2012 - Filed under: Addiction,Christian eating disorder recovery -

“We are women of a different status,

this world we will impact.

We are women of a different status,

31 to be exact”.

 

In need of my Savior

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Jun - 10 - 2012 - Filed under: Uncategorized -

Deep depression is embodied emotional suffering.  It is not simply a state of mind or a negative view of life but something that affects our physical being as well ~ The Depression Epidemic.

 

During a conference with John MacArthur, influential pastor John Piper described some of the darkest hours of his life and ministry, saying that for a long period of time—months or years—he wept every day.  He even wrote a book about dealing with depression.  In stark contrast, John MacArthur commented that he had never been depressed in his life.  Both different experiences and dispositions, yet both are mighty men of God.

I was glad that John Piper has been open about his depression battle – sadly, it is often scorned at in Christian circles, leaving many internalizing their anguish and suffering in silence.  Yet I can see why there is still stigma attached to depression – it is mysterious and misunderstood.  And from the outside it can look incredibly selfish – why are you depressed? You got it so good…

Yet it’s not that simple.  Severe depression is often beyond description. And when such deep and painful feelings cannot be explained, they cut to the heart of one’s spiritual being [1].

Since my teens I’ve had those periods of inexplicable weeping and unidentifiable emotional pain.  I don’t know where they come from, or why they happen, nor do I want them in my life at all (it’s not enjoyable for me or anyone around me).  But nevertheless they come, often accompanied by insomnia, extreme stomach pains, weariness and such mental and physical fatigue that it’s hard to do anything productive.

Though many people offer various explanations to why a Christian may feel depressed, my personal strong feeling is that most of the time they are attack of the enemy.  I have a lot to give to be of service to others, but when those attacks come I’m completely useless at functioning.

I’ve learned not to feel ashamed or less of a person because of it, but I’ve also learned that it’s incredibly important to not let it overpower me and rule over me.  Although I can’t describe or identify the source of such deep despair, I can choose to overcome it.  I cling to my Creator and Deliverer with all the energy I have left.  I pray with the small words I can.  And although there’s times when I still feel alone, most of the time God’s peace and joy wash over me after a bit of a battle.

I can’t rely on writing (usually a source of release) to help me, I can’t rely on my loved ones to deliver me (even though they are supportive), and I can’t indulge in all sorts of distractions to take depression away.  I’m in need of my Savior’s presence, love and peace.  I need Him to take control of my body and mind and to satisfy my thirst for Him.  I’m just continually in need of my Savior.

 

“My tears have been my food day and night…Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” ~ Psalm 42.

You may like this blog: Do not let your hearts be troubled.

 

It’s got to be perfect?

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Jun - 2 - 2012 - Filed under: Christian eating disorder recovery,Self-esteem -

I’m a perfectionist.  I’m tempted to now say, “you probably can’t tell from my blog though, it’s far from perfect!”, but that just demonstrates my perfectionist streak.

A few years back, I read that perfectionism is a sin and at the time I thought what?! No! It just means I have high standards and want to achieve the very best –nothing wrong with that.

But I’ve come to realize that my perfectionist tendencies are indeed debilitating and caging rather than useful and beneficial.  I’ve also come to understand that it’s less about achieving my best, but more about personal insecurities and needing to feel validated in some way.  It’s about trying to meet the expectations of others, rather than being content and confident in myself.

For example, I can sometimes spend months lamenting over what I said 5 months ago because it was incorrect in some way – whether factually, scripturally etc.

I used to agonize and have sleepless nights over my university coursework, because I believed it was just not the standard I expected of myself, it wasn’t PERFECT!

When I cook a meal for guests, I spoil it by continually apologizing…It’s too salty, too boring, too oily, not spicy enough, too tomatoey…

These may seem like little things, but they perpetually nag at the back of my mind.  As Edwin Bliss said: “The pursuit of excellence is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of perfection is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”   I certainly do feel neurotic with these “perfectionist” voices continually pecking at me.

But I am learning to let go of perfectionism.  What’s important is being in line with God’s will and not defining or seeking success according to other people’s notions.  I’m learning to be firm, secure and vocal about my convictions rather than consumed by worry about what so-and-so will say or think, or by focusing on what I’m not good at.

God created each one of us uniquely and with particular gifts, capabilities and personalities, all for a particular purpose.  I may not have great social skills – spend an hour alone in a room with me, you may want to tear your hair out for lack of conversation – but I’m blessed with other talents according to His will and for His plan.  You may sometimes put yourself down for not being good at something, for ‘failing’ at something in your life, perhaps for not knowing what you are good at, you may worry what your purpose is in life.  But get this:

“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:15-16).

God placed something special within you (and me).  Something to bring glory to Him.  It may not be what you (or I) want or expect, but His will for our lives is perfect.

Step away from the world and its expectations for a little while and go into the Secret Place of His presence: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

 

You may like: Graffiti Bridge to Life

Enough: Or, why we should all be laughing hysterically in the magazine aisle

 

Church stories: Facing my brother’s addiction

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on May - 15 - 2012 - Filed under: Addiction,Christian eating disorder recovery,Loneliness -

I read a heart-rending story over at Rachel Held Evans’ blog which I feel so compelled to link up to, as I’m sure the story resonates with many who have been through/going through an addiction, eating disorder, or mental health problems, yet have felt so alone in the midst of their faith community:

 

Church stories: Facing my brother’s addiction.

 

An excerpt:

 

“I’m not sure when my brother died.

It’s tricky because while in some ways he’s very much alive – he breathes, eats, sleeps and has temporal mass –in others he is a walking ghost.

For at least the last decade and arguably several years longer, my baby brother has been an addict. Alcohol, women, opiates – he dabbles in many vices. All of them destructive. All of them expensive in myriads of ways. All of them symptoms of larger problems no professional can seem to accurately assess, diagnose or cure…

We are not a periphery family. My parents were close friends with much of our pastoral staff at the church I grew up in. In the past decade I have been a youth worker at several churches, worked at various faith-based nonprofits, served as a missionary and was a seminary student. The faith community is central to the bedrock of our family.

And yet people of faith have routinely sucked.

I have been told his addiction is my fault, my parent’s fault, Satan’s fault. I have been told I am simply not praying hard enough or I simply do not have enough faith. I have been told my life is too stressful for someone to be in community with me. I have been accused of being a bad youth worker since I couldn’t even keep my brother out of trouble. I have been told this is God’s plan for our family and if we just keep persevering, God’s glory will be known and it will all be worth it. I have been told that my suffering at my brother’s choice is simply “my cross to bear.”

None of that was helpful.

None of that was loving.

None of it was the correct response”.

 

Do click on the link above and check it out.

 

Shalom!

What’s the big deal with low self-esteem?

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on May - 10 - 2012 - Filed under: Christian eating disorder recovery,Image,Self-esteem -

Quite a while ago I was enormously moved by a TV programme on body image, presented by ‘How To Look Good Naked’ stylist Gok Wan.   He specifically focused on UK youth and how they perceive their bodies, self-worth and identity.  Particularly memorable was a teenage girl who spent two hours DAILY editing photos of herself, inspired by pro-anorexia websites and dangerous ideals about what body shape/look is perceived as beautiful.  The case of this young lady is not an unusual one, but one example of the body hate that is widespread amongst our youth and which often remains long into adulthood (and which breaks my heart).

 

Whilst some say that we shouldn’t be overly concerned by low self-esteem (“just get over it!” sound familiar?), feelings of inadequacy actually affect’s someone’s spirit, self-belief and motivation.  It can destroy relationships and friendships through fear, comparison and jealousy.  If someone doesn’t feel empowered and comfortable with themselves, it affects that person’s mindset and what they think they will be able to achieve, and eventually what they will/will not achieve. When I thought less of myself than I should, I shrunk away from doing things (having fun, meeting people, participating in community groups), from expressing myself (I always believed I had no voice & no relevance, which opened the door for people to walk all over me), and therefore from making an imprint on the world around me.  What’s the big deal with low self-esteem? It is all-consuming and eats away at a person, eventually stopping them from achieving their goals and aspirations.  And in actuality, the issue is harmful because some people take their life because they don’t feel good enough/accepted/like they belong.

 

How do we break free from the cage of low self-esteem, comparison and harmful beauty standards?  It’s a lifelong commitment and vow to reject evil messages about ourselves and to challenge the ones from the world around us (from the magazines, the TV, from music lyrics & videos, from our peers).   It’s a conscious, day-by-day effort to think positively and wonderfully about what you look like and who you are, and to celebrate what your gifts and talents are.  For example, when I observed someone editing a photo of me I refused to let the incident go without challenging the mindset behind the editing.  Of course, the photo was to be uploaded onto a social media networking site, so the idea was that those freckles and blemishes made the picture less attractive to all the eyes that would be viewing the picture.  But I’m not out to impress anybody by conforming to any airbrushed standard, or to win the approval of all the people who will be seeing the photograph, or to be determined by the number of positive comments that would spring from such an airbrushed photo (in fact I get annoyed when someone clicks “like” when the photo of me is clearly airbrushed – “it’s not actually me!”).  So even if my friends or those close to me say otherwise, I am able to confidently say, as I did in the above example, in love and gentleness: “no, this isn’t right. God in His infinite wisdom and mystery created me like this.  I won’t be demeaned or made to feel inadequate.  I know my worth”.

 

Nobody has it all-together for all of the time.  We have bad days and let the world and remarks get us down, angry, hurt and upset.  I had to chastise myself the other day as my husband reminded me that I wasn’t practicing what I’m preaching, so to speak.  I was consumed with self-doubt, picking at what seemed to be my every flaw.  I even had a dream in which I was criticising my appearance!  But that isn’t a free life.  Nor is it the truth.  The Bible constantly reminds us to set ourselves apart, to not conform ourselves to the world, to fix our eyes on Him, to pursue righteousness rather than worldly pleasures.  This morning I was convicted of those very statutes.

 

It’s perhaps a cliché, but the truth is that inside each of us there is invaluable worth and on the outside of every one of us is beauty.  By changing the way we think and by purposefully abstaining from and challenging the messages around us which say otherwise – whether through the internet, mags, newspapers, or even our closest loved ones – we can see that God-given beauty in ourselves and in others.

 

I’m sorry this post wasn’t supported by more Bible verses.  I just wanted to encourage someone today through my own daily thoughts.  Perhaps here are a few appropriate verses to finish with:

 

  • Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:12).
  • Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
  • Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2).
  • Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in them.  For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:15-17).

 

 

 

What I’d tell my 18-year old (anorexic) self

Posted by:Rebekah Odutola on Apr - 14 - 2012 - Filed under: Christian eating disorder recovery,Image,Loneliness,Self-esteem -

Admittedly, the title of this post seems a bit self-indulgent…and perhaps seemingly a little bizarre, because at 24 years of age I’m presently not actually a great deal older. But in the intervening years, I’ve learned a heap of stuff and God has worked His wonders in my life immensely.  In the journey of life, I’ve also benefitted enormously from those who cared to tell me their experiences to build me up.  And so I write the core things that I would tell my anguished, 18 year-old, struggling-with-an-eating-disorder self, in the hope that someone reading this (who is going through the same) may feel encouraged, or look to the future with greater hope.

 

  • Stop killing yourself.  There are some pretty awesome things waiting there for you in your future: your husband, your daughter, a university degree, abundant joy, lots of travelling and meeting so many interesting people.  You wouldn’t want to miss out on all that.
  • Having said some of the great things that are coming your way, don’t for a minute place all your hope in any earthly relationship/activity, or think that anybody else/anything can make you make you happy, or make you complete.  It is only God and His presence that satisfies, fulfils and brings a deep joy.  Your mama, your spouse, your children, your education, your friends, your career, money, acceptance etc. cannot please you always.  After all is said and done, you will lay your head on the pillow at night and will still be left with an emptiness within that gnaws at you.  It’s only the Holy Spirit’s presence and your walk with God that can fill that.  Seek God.  Read His Word.  Pray always.  Just be quiet and wait for Him to move. You’ll find everything you need there, I promise.
  • Honour your parents, even when they don’t deserve it or you don’t understand why they are behaving in a certain way.  Your best interest is usually at the forefront of their minds.  Also don’t forget that for them, seeing you emaciated, unhealthy and on the verge of a self-inflicted death is upsetting and hurtful; so be patient when they get angry.  Honouring your parents will also teach you the kind of humility that Jesus lived out himself.
  • The approval of society is, in fact, not worth an iota.  Acceptance from men and women is temporary and changes with the wind.  Don’t compromise the unique beauty in you to please somebody else.  There’s something special about you that nobody else has, so don’t lose it in a bid to please society. EMBRACE what makes you different (inside and out).
  • You don’t actually have to ‘fit in’.  You don’t.  And why would you want to? It’s kind of boring to act, think, be, and dress like everyone else.  So hold your head up high, be bold and confident.
  • Affirm yourself daily and constantly.  Whenever you’ve a bad hair day or feeling pretty bad about yourself, choose to reject evil thoughts about yourself.  Instead of saying “I look ugly today”, immediately rebuke those thoughts which tear you down and appreciate God’s glorious handwork in you, build yourself up: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My body is amazing and beautiful for it was the Lord who crafted it. Thank you God, for making my eyes/hair/mouth/belly/thighs/legs…so beautiful!”
  • Happiness is a choice.  You don’t need to let anyone take away the joy that is rightfully yours through their actions or words.  Do you want to be happy? Joy is there! You just have to be ready to take it, to choose it, to live it out.
  • True love is not a feeling; it’s a lifelong commitment and a choice to stick with someone through thick and thin (whether a family member, a friend, or a spouse).  True love is selfless, kind, and does not rejoice in evil.  Express this kind of love always, with God’s help.  It will be pleasing to God and it will make your relationships healthier and stronger.  It will make you happier, too.
  • Treat others how you want to be treated.  Even if someone disrespects or offends you, clothe yourself nevertheless with dignity and respect.  And don’t lose your faith in humanity; there are some people out there who are selfless even to the point of death.  Or selfless enough to drop everything for you, just to help you at your hour of need.
  • Look at the children around you; you can usually learn a lot more from them than you can from any adult.  They embrace life and live it to the full.  They run, laugh, eat, and are merry.  They look at themselves in the mirror and smile, even revel in their reflection.  Don’t let life’s circumstances make you jaded.  Learn from the little children!
  • You should not tolerate being defined, treated, demeaned, judged, or limited according to your appearance.  For anybody that is more interested in dissecting your body, your clothes, your make-up, and your hairstyle rather than simply hanging out with you and enjoying your company, you may want to re-think whether you want them in your life.
  • Don’t let comparison steal your joy (okay, I stole this from an unknown source, but it rings true).
  • You’re amazing and beautiful, Rebekah. Inside and out.

 

Now to you guys, are there any nuggets of encouragement or life lessons that you would tell your younger self if you could? What has this journey taught you that you would pass onto your children/younger ones?  Drop a comment if you feel led to do so.

Peace unto you always, beautiful people.

P.S. You can find us on Twitter at: @Psalm_139_14   and our Facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/FearfullyWonderfully

 

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